


Stalking is not Flirting

by stellarsketches



Category: Persona 4, Persona 5
Genre: Bad Flirting, Kidnapping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarsketches/pseuds/stellarsketches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Stalking is not flirting, if you want to talk to this boy you have to be bold! Get his attention! Talk! To! Him! Understand?”</p>
<p>The Phantom Thief nods weakly, vaguely horrified that he’s getting dating advice from a cat, non-cat thing, in the middle of the night on a roof. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Phantom Thief meets a cute guy and he doesn't pursue the relationship in a very orthodox way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stalking is not Flirting

**Author's Note:**

> this is based of a super short comic i drew a few months back

XX

 

Souji’s just getting to the good part of his story when a loud _THUMP_ resounds next to him. Both he and the cat he’s feeding freeze, the cat’s tongue still out to lap at canned tuna. When Souji turns his head he’s met with a crouched figure in all black that smoothly rises to its feet. It turns and makes eye contact with Souji, eyes sharp through a white masquerade mask, and smirks disarmingly wide before taking off across the street to climb up to the roof of a building. Moments later, police cars drive by, alarms blaring.

 

The cat resumes eating immediately, unfazed, but Souji continues to stare off at the direction of the black-clad stranger. The adventurous, slight reckless part of him that prompted him to stick his hand into the tv that first time wants him to run across the street and find out just who that was. But the rational part of him, that sounds a lot like Naoto, tells him to mind his own business.

 

And this time, he listens to it.

 

XX

 

About two weeks later Souji’s walking to his bus stop late at night when he runs into an abnormally large group of cops. They’re all mumbling to each other hurriedly, and Souji makes out “phantom” and “thief” before he slips past them. He rounds a corner and the dark figure that’s been in and out of his thoughts for the past fifteen days, seemingly materializes out the shadows.

 

Souji appropriately jumps backs in surprise as the figure glides past him. Souji manages to find his voice again, just as the stranger is about to disappear the way Souji just came.

 

“I wouldn’t go that way; a lot of cops,” Souji manages, voice a lot more level than he feels.

 

The stranger turns to look over their shoulder, and Souji doesn’t miss the way sharp eyes narrow beneath dark hair.  

 

“Thanks,” the stranger says before taking off in the opposite direction.

Souji grins to himself all the way back to his apartment.

 

XX

 

 

It isn’t _stalking_ per se. The Phantom Thief is just curious about the tall, vaguely attractive guy he’s seen twice in the past month.

 

A guy apparently decent enough to spare him a run in with a few cops. Who wouldn’t be interested?

 

The night after, if the Phantom Thief just so happens to be scoping out around a certain convenience store, it’s just a coincidence, really.

 

And if he manages to spot a slightly familiar head of gray hair, well, that’s just luck.

 

XX

 

“Senpai, have you heard of the Phantom Thief?”

 

Souji stills wondering if he should tell Naoto about his two run-ins with someone he’s _pretty_ sure is the Phantom Thief, and how he spent a good four hours one night trying to scourge any information he could about them online.

 

“Um…yeah? They’re kinda a big deal around here now,” he says instead.

 

“That’s kinda cool, Partner! It’s like a real life Spiderman!” Yosuke says, his Skype video feed blurring a bit as he bounces in place.

 

“Except Spiderman didn’t go around breaking into establishments and stealing important information.”

 

“Well yeah,” Yosuke says visibly deflating some.

 

“Senpai,” Naoto says again this time looking vaguely exhausted “Stay out of trouble in the city.”

 

“I'll do my best, mom,” Souji says, hoping he looks sincere.

 

Naoto just sighs.

 

XX

 

“This has got to stop.”

 

“What?” The Phantom Thief thinks this an excellent, profound, _relevant_ question. It definitely doesn’t deserve the exasperated, borderline offended looked Morgana is giving him.

 

“You stalking this boy has got to stop.”

 

“I’m not stalking anyone,” he retorts chin tilted haughtily. “You’re the one who demanded we do reconnaissance in this area before you, and I quote, ‘go into my closet and tear out the crotch of every pair of underwear I own.’”

 

“Yes, I told you that three days ago. That doesn’t really explain why you’ve been keep watch here for _three weeks.”_

 

The Phantom Thief finally turns around, silent, because Morgana’s got him; they make eye contact and Morgana’s smug grin widens. She looks like the, _shit,_ no pun intended, the cat that caught the canary, inexplicably happy to be delving into the Phantom Thief’s currently non-existent love life.

 

“I-I don’t have time to date anyone!” he blurts out, on the defensive reflexively.

 

Morgana’s eyes narrow as she crosses her arms.

 

“I don’t! Not that I’m even thinking about dating this kid. I’ve just seen him around y’know?”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with having a crush—“

 

“I do not have a—“

 

“ _But_ ,” Morgana continues, the look her eyes clearly stating that if he doesn’t shut up she’s gonna obnoxiously meow in his room again at 2 am. “Stalking is not flirting, if you want to talk to this boy you have to be bold! Get his attention! Talk! To! Him! Understand?”

 

The Phantom Thief nods weakly, vaguely horrified that he’s getting dating advice from a cat, non-cat thing, in the middle of the night on a roof.

 

“Besides,” Morgana says turning and stalking away “It’d be nice for you to go out on dates instead of taking up space in the café, interrupting my cat naps.”

 

“I thought you weren’t a cat.”

 

“IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!”

 

 

XX

 

 

Honestly, Souji’s feeling a bit antsy. On and off he’s been feeling like someone’s watching him, and today’s been the worst. It’s bringing back memories of Magatsu Inaba, and of caution tape, that lurid red sky, and shadows, and—in short Souji just wants to go home and check on his Neko Atsume cats.

 

He hustles it back to his apartment from the train station and is making his way up to the door, when something grabs his arm and pulls him into the shadows.

 

 

XX

 

 

When Souji comes to it’s pitch black.  He doesn’t think he’s dead; there’s no fog, and his friends aren’t materializing to tell him to not die, so that’s good.

 

His hands and feet are bound though, and he assumes he’s been kidnapped. He can’t fathom why, if someone wants money they’ll have a hell of a time trying to get in touch with his parents. He’s their only child and he has to get the okay from his mom’s secretary to talk to her on the phone.

 

After a moment he makes out voices coming closer and closer to him.

 

“Dude,” one deadpans “I can’t believe you kidnapped someone. I didn’t think it was part of our thing.”

 

“It isn’t,” another voice answers, a lot higher pitched, and a _lot_ less laid back. “ _This_ is just going to cause more trouble.”

 

“Shh. I think he’s awake,” a third voice says, and it’s _very_ close. “Let’s take this off of you.”

 

The blindfold is slipped off, and Souji blinks repeatedly to clear his vision. Slowly his eyes adjust, and what he sees nearly makes him scream.

 

Crouching literally two feet away from him is the Phantom Thief.

 

“Hi,” he says with a little flirty wave, demeanor completely at odds with the situation.

 

Souji can do nothing but stare.

 

“Do you know why I brought you here?” the Phantom Thief leans in close, crowding Souji up against the wall.

 

“Uh…to rob me?”

 

 

“Actually…” he drawls, sliding even closer, until the tip of the masquerade mask is very gently poking Souji’s nose. The Thief’s eyes are clear and sharp, and the smirk on his face makes Souji wants to squirm. He has to admit it, something about being bound at the mercy of a handsome mysterious stranger is kinda turning him on.

 

“I’ve…seen you around lately and I think you’re cute as fuck,” the Phantom Thief finishes, smiling proudly.

 

“What?”

 

“Dude,” the voice from before says before Souji can come with a response. A guy in a skull mask is staring at them, obviously shocked even through the mask.

 

“What’s wrong?” the Phantom Thief asks casually looking down at what Souji realizes to be a cat standing up on two legs, dressed in thief’s clothes too, and looking unbelievably pissed.

 

“What’s wrong?” the cat echoes, tail twitching in barely concealed irritation. “You kidnapped someone because they’re cute?!”

 

“You told me to make a move!”

 

“Kidnapping is not a move. I told you to be bold but _this_ ,” here the cat gestures at Souji with little gloved paws and he has to bite his tongue to keep from gasping at how cute that is, “This is not being bold! This is being weird!”

 

“I didn’t think it was weird,” the Phantom Thief says tone questioning. He turns to the other masked guy who shrugs, then to Souji, “Are you weirded out?” he asks, sounding confused and a little guilty.

 

They all turn to look at Souji.

 

Truthfully he is a little weirded out, being kidnapped isn’t really fun, but the Phantom Thief seems harmless, if a little clueless, and _very_ cute. He’s even vaguely flattered that the other took time after their initial meetings to search for him. Naoto’s definitely gonna take a train to the city to chew him out in person when she hears about this.

 

“Um, yeah, a little? You did kinda…kidnap me,” Souji says. The Phantom Thief wilts a little, making Souji grin despite himself “But you can still take me on a date.”

 

 

Xx

 

 

Their target Shadow isn’t even dead for a whole hour before the Phantom Thief is kissing his cute boyfriend through the fire escape window.

 

“I take it things went well?” Souji asks cheekily once he reclaims his tongue.

 

“Mmhm. Now I’m claiming my reward.” The Phantom Thief practically lunges through the window tackling Souji onto the floor of his room. “You’ll be a good reward won’t you?” he says sitting up to pull off his coat.

 

“Of course I will,” and then Souji yanks him back down until they’re kissing again.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this headcanon is one i'll take to my grave. 
> 
> also souji is the emotional team mom but naoto is his impulse control and morgana desperately tries to keep the phantom thief relatively out of trouble. 
> 
> btw i didn't even try to make this fit w/ the info shared about persona 5 i'm too lazy to make my headcanons fit just yet


End file.
